Counselling And Therapy For Couples

Divorce rates are high in the expatriate community. While the move might not be the cause of marriage stress it can aggravate a lot of issues that may have been manageable previously. It is additionally stressful if the spouse of an expat was resistant to move or left a lucrative career behind.

When it comes to married couples it is the man who is being relocated about 80% of the time. In a lot of countries it may be difficult for the accompanying spouse to work for visa and language reasons. Often a spouse may enjoy the break from the workforce and having time to spend with their children or on a hobby. Other times It can be accompanied with feelings of isolation and loss of identity.

Many couples feel that their partner has changed as result of the move. One member of the couple may be powering along with their career while the other is feeling defeated by the foreign labels in the supermarket. This can lead to resentment within the marriage.

A common problem reported by the working spouse is that their partner stores all their grievances each day and then starts to articulate them as soon as they arrive home from work. This is often because the spouse may have no one to talk to and wanted to express themselves. The working partner is most likely struggling with the change also. They are trying to navigate a new country and job and sometimes feel that their spouse should be more understanding of the stress they are under.

It can also be difficult socially as the working spouse has a lot of work colleagues to socialise with whom they are likely to have some common ground. When you are the accompanying member of the couple you have to be more proactive with your attempts to make friends. Some partners and companies are very considerate of the needs of the other person in the marriage. However, sometimes there is the opposite experience.

One of the problems with being posted overseas with your family is that even if you are in the same city you may be required to do a lot of additional travel. This is common for diplomats or people who work for mining companies. In this event it can put even more stress on a marriage if partners are separated for weeks at a time. If the accompanying spouse is then left on their own in a foreign place then the feelings of isolation may be unbearable.

Infidelity is a common cause of marriage break downs in the expat community. For the accompanying spouse the isolation can be a catalyst for them to consider things that they would not normally do. Boredom and feeling under appreciated can lead to problems for couples. Similarly, The working spouse may have a new found feeling of superiority depending on their new position and country of posting.

In some countries there is a very relaxed attitude to infidelity. Also, in some places westerners are sought after as they are likely to have status, money and access to visas in the home country. This can be very attractive to people in developing countries who are poor and without good prospects. There may be a level of temptation for the spouse that they have not experienced previously.

Moving overseas is difficult on relationships. It can make you confront a lot of dormant issues. However if couples are respectful of each other and keep and open flow of communication then it can strengthen their marriage considerably. The thing to remember is that there are no guarantees in any marriage. If you are experiencing problems then seek help but try not to blame the relocation as there are probably underlying factors. The move may have merely forced you to have a realistic look at your relationship.

Counselling And Therapy For Couples

No related posts.